Liberation Lunes
October 14th, 2024
As a Christian therapist, I have worked with countless clients who love God deeply, but who also find themselves struggling with mental health challenges—sometimes exacerbated by well-meaning but harmful spiritual advice. These challenges are often rooted in something called spiritual bypassing, a term coined by psychologist John Welwood in the 1980s. Spiritual bypassing occurs when people use spiritual practices or beliefs to avoid dealing with unresolved emotional and psychological issues.
If you’ve ever been told something like:
• “You just need to pray harder.”
• “Your faith should be strong enough to overcome this.”
• “Everything happens for a reason—trust God’s plan.”
…then you may have experienced spiritual bypassing firsthand. While these statements are often said with good intentions, they can leave people feeling shamed, unsupported, and emotionally isolated.
In this blog post, I want to unpack what spiritual bypassing is, how it impacts both your faith and mental health, and offer practical steps for healing from the hurt it can cause. My goal is to help Christians balance their spiritual life with emotional well-being in a way that honors both their faith and their mental health journey.
What Is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing happens when spiritual beliefs or practices are used as a way to avoid addressing difficult emotions, trauma, or life challenges. It can look like:
• Avoidance of negative emotions: Focusing only on positive thoughts, prayers, or Bible verses to avoid dealing with real pain.
• Denial of personal responsibility: Believing that faith alone will resolve all emotional or psychological issues without seeking practical help.
• Suppressing difficult conversations: Using spirituality as an excuse to avoid addressing real conflicts, grief, or mental health issues.
Psychologically, spiritual bypassing serves as a defense mechanism—a way to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions. It’s often unconscious, meaning we don’t realize we’re doing it. This is common not just in religious communities but also in practices like mindfulness, meditation, and even secular self-help.
Many spiritual communities, including churches, can unknowingly perpetuate spiritual bypassing by focusing too much on spiritual solutions to complex emotional and mental health problems.
The Impact of Spiritual Bypassing on Mental Health and Faith
When we engage in spiritual bypassing, we don’t just harm our emotional health—we can also harm our relationship with God and others. Here are a few key ways spiritual bypassing affects mental health and faith:
1. Increased Anxiety and Depression
By avoiding or suppressing difficult emotions, spiritual bypassing can lead to emotional repression, which in turn contributes to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. This happens because the unresolved emotions don’t go away—they stay buried, eventually manifesting as deeper psychological distress.
2. Strained Relationships
Spiritual bypassing can damage relationships, both with others and with God. By avoiding genuine emotional connection or downplaying the struggles of others, we may come across as dismissive or uncaring. This can lead to feelings of isolation, not only for us but also for those around us.
3. Stunted Personal and Spiritual Growth
Real spiritual growth requires confronting the darker, more difficult parts of ourselves—the pain, trauma, or unresolved issues that weigh on our hearts. When we bypass these challenges, we miss the opportunity to grow in both faith and emotional maturity. Spiritual bypassing may give temporary relief, but it ultimately stunts long-term growth.
Biblical Examples of Addressing Mental Health
The Bible provides many examples of godly people who struggled with their emotions and sought help rather than avoiding their pain. Here are a few examples:
• Elijah: After his victory on Mount Carmel, Elijah became deeply discouraged and prayed for God to take his life (1 Kings 19:4). Instead of telling Elijah to “pray harder” or “just have faith,” God sent an angel to care for him by providing food, rest, and support.
• David: Throughout the Psalms, David pours out his pain and anguish, showing us that it’s okay to express our deepest emotions before God. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
• Jesus: Even Jesus, the perfect Son of God, experienced deep emotional distress. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He asked His disciples for emotional support and prayed in anguish (Matthew 26:36-38). This shows that even in our faith, it’s okay to ask for help.
Practical Tips to Heal from Spiritual Bypassing
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
The first step in healing from spiritual bypassing is to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel pain, sadness, anxiety, or grief. You don’t have to suppress or avoid these feelings. God welcomes your emotions just as He welcomed David’s laments and Elijah’s despair. Healing starts with being honest with yourself and with God.
2. Seek Wise Counsel
Proverbs 11:14 reminds us that “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.” Seeking help from a professional counselor or therapist does not mean you lack faith—it means you are taking a wise and proactive step in your healing journey. God provides many tools for healing, and therapy is one of them.
3. Challenge Simplistic Spiritual Responses
When you hear phrases like “just pray harder” or “everything happens for a reason,” it’s important to recognize that these statements may not fully address the complexity of your pain. Instead of accepting these as solutions, seek deeper understanding and healing through a combination of prayer, therapy, and community support.
4. Embrace Your Humanity
We are all human, and that means we will face emotional, physical, and spiritual struggles. Rather than pretending these don’t exist, embrace them as opportunities for growth. Remember, it’s in our weakness that God’s strength is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9).
5. Create Safe Spaces for Emotional Expression
Whether it’s through journaling, prayer, therapy, or conversations with trusted friends, creating spaces where you can safely express your emotions is essential. This allows you to process your feelings instead of burying them under spiritual platitudes.
How to Receive My Spiritual Bypassing Resource
I’ve created a special PDF guide for Christians who want to understand and overcome spiritual bypassing. It includes:
• The top 20 spiritual bypassing statements I’ve encountered in my practice
• Practical steps and mental health tips for reframing these harmful beliefs
• Bible verses to guide you toward healing
To receive your free PDF guide, sign up for my blog and email me at diana@throughthevalleytherapy.com with the subject line “Spiritual Bypass PDF”. I will personally send you the resource to help you on your healing journey.
A Prayer for Healing from Spiritual Bypassing
Heavenly Father,
I come to You with a heart burdened by pain, confusion, and frustration. I’ve tried to hide my struggles behind spiritual answers, but today, I bring them all before You. Help me to embrace my emotions and seek the help I need, whether from You, a therapist, or wise counsel. Thank You for loving me in my brokenness and for walking with me through every valley. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Conclusion: Faith and Mental Health Can Coexist
Healing from spiritual bypassing takes time, but it is possible. Your faith and mental health are not at odds with each other—they are two parts of the same journey toward wholeness. Jesus Himself modeled the importance of addressing our emotional needs, and He calls us to do the same.
Sign up for my blog, email me for your free Spiritual Bypassing PDF, and take that first step toward deeper healing today. You don’t have to do this alone—God is with you every step of the way.
In Service, Faith, Hope and Love,
Diana
And now for the disclaimer to make sure you understand that YOU are responsible for YOU:
Disclaimer:
The content provided on Liberation Lunes is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read on this blog. The views expressed on this blog are my personal opinions and do not represent the views of any professional organizations with which I am affiliated. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, 911, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) immediately. Liberation Lunes does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the blog. Reliance on any information provided by Liberation Lunes, others appearing on the blog at the invitation of Liberation Lunes, or other visitors to the blog is solely at your own risk.
Confidentiality Notice:
If you choose to engage with Liberation Lunes by commenting or posting and you are a client, please be aware that you may be revealing information that could compromise your confidentiality. Remember that disclosing your identity or personal details can be linked to your clinical material. As a therapist, I am bound by confidentiality and will not respond to any disclosures of this nature on this blog. I am committed to upholding the ethics and confidentiality of the therapeutic relationship, which extends to all forms of communication, following the laws and professional guidelines that govern mental health professionals. Your privacy is of utmost importance, and you are responsible for protecting it when interacting on this platform or any other public forum.
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