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Why Surrender, Not Willpower, is the Key to Lasting Change

Liberation Lunes

January 13th, 2025


When life throws challenges our way, our first instinct is often to try harder, fight through, or rely on sheer willpower. But what if the answer isn’t found in striving—but in surrendering? Last week, I faced a series of moments that reminded me how powerful surrender can be—not as a sign of weakness, but as a gateway to wisdom, growth, and lasting change. Let me share this journey with you and some practical tools to help you navigate your own challenges with faith and clarity.


A Morning of Challenges and Divine Comfort

The morning started with an unsettling email that deeply disturbed my peace. I had been looking forward to sitting outside for Bible reading and prayer, but this unexpected attack threw me off course. As I wrestled with my emotions, feeling the weight of the moment, a message from my dear friend Sharon came through, seemingly out of nowhere. Her words read, "Bless you today as you see into hearts. That God gives you words straight from the Throne Room." Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized: God was with me.


Her message reminded me that I wasn’t alone. I immediately reached out to my Christian Mental Health Professionals group, asking for prayer. This group has been a consistent source of strength for me in other challenging moments, offering not just prayers but also practical wisdom and encouragement that keep me grounded in faith. Within moments, I felt the power of community as they responded with encouragement and intercession. One member even suggested that I use what I was experiencing as part of my talk that day, reframing it as a moment of surrender rather than an obstacle.


As I prepared to leave, I called another friend, Tricia, hoping for a quick conversation to steady my nerves. She didn’t answer. But as I hung up, something unexpected happened: a sermon she had shared with me earlier started playing on my phone, completely on its own. The sermon was John Mark Comer’s Man’s Search for Meaning | The Sage Ep 2, and it spoke directly to my heart. Comer’s words echoed Viktor Frankl’s philosophy that meaning—not happiness—is humanity’s deepest need, and that suffering is often the path to finding that meaning. It was as if God had orchestrated this moment to realign my focus and prepare me for the day ahead.


Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone

That afternoon, I was set to deliver a keynote speech at a Wellness & Appreciation Event for I AM 365 Fit. My topic, Beyond Willpower: The Power of Surrender, felt deeply personal, especially in light of the morning’s events. Representing Transformed Mind Consulting and Coaching as a psychoeducational trainer, this opportunity was significant for me both professionally and personally.


Preparing for this talk had been a journey in itself. Over weeks of fine-tuning, I pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone and deliver something meaningful. One breakthrough moment came when I practiced sharing my personal story aloud for the first time—it reminded me of the power of vulnerability and how connecting through shared experiences could inspire others to embrace their own journeys. As someone who prefers staying behind the scenes, public speaking has always been a challenge for me. But this time, I felt called to share my personal story, to be honest about my own struggles with surrender, and to encourage others to find strength in letting go.


One of the key points in my talk was the difference between willpower and surrender:

  • Willpower is like a sprint—useful for short bursts of energy but not sustainable for the long haul. It often feels restrictive, reactive, and finite. Decision fatigue, the mental drain from making countless small choices daily, eventually depletes our ability to rely on willpower alone.

  • Surrender, on the other hand, is like running a marathon. It shifts our focus from controlling everything to aligning with what truly matters. Surrender doesn’t deplete energy—it renews it by creating clarity and purpose. It’s about trusting God’s plan and letting go of the illusion that we can manage it all on our own.


This message resonated deeply with me as I reflected on the morning’s events. I realized that surrendering wasn’t just the theme of my speech; it was the lesson I was actively living out. That perspective gave me a renewed sense of purpose and clarity as I stood before the audience.


Finding Meaning in Suffering: Lessons from Viktor Frankl

Later that morning, as I drove to the event, I reflected on John Mark Comer’s sermon and the profound wisdom of Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl observed that those who survived unimaginable suffering often did so by finding meaning in their pain. His philosophy teaches us that while we cannot always control our circumstances, we can choose how we respond to them.


Frankl’s key lesson is this: Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning. For him, the meaning was in helping others and holding onto a vision of hope. For us, it might mean reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and transformation—a principle deeply rooted in both CBT and faith.


Logotherapy, the foundation of Frankl’s work, focuses on discovering meaning through three key pathways. For example, imagine someone facing a career setback. Instead of dwelling on the loss, they might find meaning by creating new opportunities to serve others, reconnecting with loved ones for support, or shifting their perspective to view the challenge as a lesson in resilience. These pathways include:

  1. Through Creativity or Work: Finding purpose in what you contribute to the world. For example, asking yourself, “How can I use my gifts to serve others or glorify God today?”

  2. Through Relationships or Love: Finding meaning in your connections with others. This could involve leaning into relationships that uplift and inspire you or showing compassion to others in small but significant ways.

  3. Through Attitude in Suffering: Choosing how you respond to difficulties. Asking questions like, “What lesson is God teaching me through this?” or “How can I glorify Him in this challenge?” shifts the focus from the pain itself to its potential purpose.


By integrating these principles into our lives, we can transform moments of hardship into opportunities for growth, faith, and deeper understanding.



Practical Tips: Choosing Surrender Over Willpower

Whether you’re navigating a challenging day, a difficult relationship, or a season of uncertainty, surrendering can be a powerful step toward transformation. It means releasing control and trusting in a greater plan. Here are some actionable steps to help you practice surrender:


  1. Pause and Reflect – Step back and recognize where you're striving in your own strength.

  2. Shift Your Perspective – Acknowledge that surrender is not weakness but a source of strength.

  3. Seek Guidance – Turn to prayer, meditation, or trusted counsel to refocus your heart.

  4. Let Go of Control – Release the need to micromanage every detail; trust the process.

  5. Align with Purpose – Realign your actions with your faith, values, and bigger vision.

  6. Celebrate the Freedom – Embrace the peace that comes from letting go and leaning in.



Closing Thoughts: Strength in Surrender

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)


In Service, Faith, Hope, and Love,

Diana


PS Don't forget to come by and listen to The Holistic Counselor Podcast on YouTube or Apple for more encouragement, tips, and resources!



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